The Arena

This is harder than Martian calculus.

Athletes have been using Twitter to give away tickets for the better part of 2009. Shaq is infamous for “Twitter tag,” and Paul Pierce had a fairly simple ticket-winning procedure.

So what on Earth is Lamar Odom doing?

In the spirit of Easter, Odom’s put together a scavenger hunt that, when completed, gets the winner a pair of playoff tickets. But there are three disclaimers: No PhotoShop, no in-store or in-home pictures, and a requirement of a Lakers hat in every picture.

And then there are seven different TwitPics to go get. Some of them verge on the totally absurd.

1. A picture of you wearing a Clippers Odom jersey. If you still own this, you’re an idiot for having purchased it in the first place; if you don’t, console yourself with the knowledge that people wearing Clippers jerseys with Lakers hats on are going to look like idiots.
2. A picture of you with the Hollywood sign in the background. The real Hollywood sign, of course, because who would want to extend this ticket-winning opportunity to Lakers fans outside the LA area? You might get a fan who would stay for the duration of a game.
3. A picture of you standing next to a sign with “7″ and “O” on it. You “can’t make sign,” which I assume means you can’t produce your own sign for this picture; it should be easy enough to accomplish with an LA-area road sign. Just remember that the tickets are worth it when you’re posing for pictures on the freeway.
4. A picture of you wearing purple shoes. The no-store requirement kills this one’s simplicity; to complete, you must either buy purple shoes or befriend the kind of person who wears purple shoes. I would have not attempted this in the first place have given up on this Quixotic quest by now recommend you spray-paint an old pair of shoes.
5. A picture of you standing next to or in a car with a Lakers flag. Lamar: You cannot stand in non-convertible cars. That’s usually impossible. And standing next to a car with a Lakers flag on it won’t be doable until at least June, when fans realize they’re in the playoffs. (Zing!)
6. A picture of you wearing a Lakers top. This should be easy. And making “jersey, tee, or tank” the requirement means that the Shaqobe-era Lakers fans can do this, too.
7. A picture of you “wearing an authentic Rich Soil Clothing T-shirt.” This, of course, is Lamar Odom’s clothing line. (Check out the second Google result for it.) Prices start at $24. Be the first on your block to own a shirt with a picture of an angel on a turntable.

That’s it. Odom does promise good seats, “lol.” He helpfully reminds that not everything has to fit, and encourages teamwork.

Personally, I would find printable versions of what you can, and head to a mall for the rest: Asking strangers to swap shirts and/or shoes in the parking lot is about as weird as actually trying to complete the challenge in its entirety.

But in making this as complicated as possible, he’s due for some backlash, and it’s already started on Twitter.

If you’re going to use this medium for giveaways, make them simple. Make them connective. Make them fun. There’s a lightness to Shaq’s and Pierce’s “contests”: It’s a first-one-to-me-wins thing, and they producein-person contact with these otherwise otherworldly athletes.

They build loyalty and engender good vibes. I’m not sure this will.

So, please, future Twitter contest designers, don’t make it too hard. And don’t make your fans find purple shoes and Clippers jerseys. That’s humiliating.

UPDATE: Someone did it.